WHY CANT I

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 , 9:22 PM

watching the ndp reminds me of many many things.. of course.. one of them is me participating in the parade in 2001.. it was fun although we spent lots and lots of time training.. it was one of my dreams to take part in it.. now that i had fufil it.. i wanted to join in the fun again..

anyway.. i am feeling so frustrated now.. if i were to join a cca.. i will join guitar one.. but the trainings are on monday and thursday.. and so unluckily.. it falls on the days that my parents either dont work or they come home early... but what if i dont join any cca.. i am afraid that later my chances of getting into a local university will be reduced.. maybe i should just come out to work when i graduate if i cant get into a local university.. but then again.. i dotn want to work so early.. i still want to study.. plus going overseas to study would just mean that my parents have to spend more money on me.. then my mother wants to retire liao.. unless i can come up with the money myself.. well that is impossible..haha..

sometimes dying just makes it so easy.. i dont need to think too much.. dying ca be seen as a way to escape reality and gives you total freedom for once..